Or a lot. A study of N.Y. women finds it's virtue - not vice - you'll regret.
By MARK ELLWOOD
Have that extra cookie. Sleep with him on the first date. Call in sick, even if it's for a sample sale. You won't regret any of it, says a new study; rather it's salads, celibacy and soldiering through the flu that will bring you down.
The report - by Ivy League professors - claims that when you hit 80 and look back on life, it's your virtues, not your vices, that you'll resent.
Good girls are full of regret; bad girls have nothing but great memories.
Penelope (not her real name), 27, would agree; the Manhattan artist is a true good-bad girl. "I am the only person I know that doesn't have any regrets. I lost my virginity when I was 12, I buzzed my head with clippers when I was 16." She has had dozens of scandalous love affairs and even managed to get a tattoo at 14. Her most outrageous escapade? "My mom is my best friend, and we've gone hot-tubbing with mutual acquaintances together," she says, giggling.
Penelope's live-out-loud mantra is endorsed by the study, to be published this September in the Journal of Consumer Research (University of Chicago Press). Co-authored by Dr. Ran Kivetz from the Columbia Business School and grad student Anat Keinan, it explains that while conventional wisdom says we all have a hard time doing the right thing, the reverse is actually true.
"Many times, people have a problem in that they over-control themselves - they don't indulge enough and allow themselves to let go, postponing indulgence," he explains. So while splurging on a Prada coat may cause more immediate regret than buying that cheap trench from Forever 21, a week later, the emotions will trade places. "As time passes and we have more perspective, guilt dissipates very quickly, and what you're left with is the feeling of missing out on life. In the long run, people really regret not choosing the vice."
To prove the point, the professor and his student even conducted local field research - on buses taking shoppers to Woodbury Commons. They asked one bus to focus on long-term regret: How would they feel a few months from now after compromising on cheap and functional goodies instead of designer duds? What would it be like in a week when they looked at that $20 sweater instead of the $100 cashmere bargain?
People on another bus were told to concentrate on immediate buyer's remorse: How would they feel getting home that night and sifting through their purchase? And a third group was told nothing. While buses Nos. 2 and 3 came back with lower-priced, more conservative purchases, the shoppers on bus No. 1 had all splashed out. Their purchases were, it was determined, significantly more indulgent than the other shoppers'. "Focusing on longer-term regret causes people to allow themselves to indulge more, buy more and enjoy life more," says Kivetz.
No one proves the point better than 31-year-old Carla, who lives in Gramercy Park. She has just one regret from a wild night in Manhattan - and it's what she didn't do instead of what she did. "I was standing in the bathroom line at Bungalow 8," she recalls, "and I met [Huge Celebrity] and in our state of drunkenness, we made out, for the rest of the night. He asked me to come back to his hotel, but by then I had sobered up and come to my senses, so I declined."
Carla now says her mistake was declining his invitation. "Once I saw the sex video with that girl, I can honestly say that was one big regret I will have to live with forever! That boy has skills."
3 comments:
Go ahead, live a little!
Or a lot. A study of N.Y. women
finds it's virtue - not vice - you'll regret.
By MARK ELLWOOD
Have that extra cookie. Sleep with him on the first date. Call in sick, even if it's for a sample sale.
You won't regret any of it, says a new study; rather it's salads, celibacy and soldiering through the flu that will bring you down.
The report - by Ivy League professors - claims that when you hit 80 and look back on life, it's your virtues, not your vices, that you'll resent.
Good girls are full of regret; bad girls have nothing but great memories.
Penelope (not her real name), 27, would agree; the Manhattan artist is a true good-bad girl. "I am the only person I know that doesn't have any regrets. I lost my virginity when I was 12, I buzzed my head with clippers when I was 16." She has had dozens of scandalous love affairs and even managed to get a tattoo at 14. Her most outrageous escapade? "My mom is my best friend, and we've gone hot-tubbing with mutual acquaintances together," she says, giggling.
Penelope's live-out-loud mantra is endorsed by the study, to be published this September in the Journal of Consumer Research (University of Chicago Press). Co-authored by Dr. Ran Kivetz from the Columbia Business School and grad student Anat Keinan, it explains that while conventional wisdom says we all have a hard time doing the right thing, the reverse is actually true.
"Many times, people have a problem in that they over-control themselves - they don't indulge enough and allow themselves to let go, postponing indulgence," he explains. So while splurging on a Prada coat may cause more immediate regret than buying that cheap trench from Forever 21, a week later, the emotions will trade places. "As time passes and we have more perspective, guilt dissipates very quickly, and what you're left with is the feeling of missing out on life. In the long run, people really regret not choosing the vice."
To prove the point, the professor and his student even conducted local field research - on buses taking shoppers to Woodbury Commons. They asked one bus to focus on long-term regret: How would they feel a few months from now after compromising on cheap and functional goodies instead of designer duds? What would it be like in a week when they looked at that $20 sweater instead of the $100 cashmere bargain?
People on another bus were told to concentrate on immediate buyer's remorse: How would they feel getting home that night and sifting through their purchase? And a third group was told nothing. While buses Nos. 2 and 3 came back with lower-priced, more conservative purchases, the shoppers on bus No. 1 had all splashed out. Their purchases were, it was determined, significantly more indulgent than the other shoppers'. "Focusing on longer-term regret causes people to allow themselves to indulge more, buy more and enjoy life more," says Kivetz.
No one proves the point better than 31-year-old Carla, who lives in Gramercy Park. She has just one regret from a wild night in Manhattan - and it's what she didn't do instead of what she did. "I was standing in the bathroom line at Bungalow 8," she recalls, "and I met [Huge Celebrity] and in our state of drunkenness, we made out, for the rest of the night. He asked me to come back to his hotel, but by then I had sobered up and come to my senses, so I declined."
Carla now says her mistake was declining his invitation. "Once I saw the sex video with that girl, I can honestly say that was one big regret I will have to live with forever! That boy has skills."
Very pretty design! Keep up the good work. Thanks.
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