THERE IS A French woman who kept old love letters from her husband. He wrote her beautiful letters before they married. Every time she got a letter from him, she savoured every sentence — every word — it was so sweet, so understanding, so full of love...
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Showing posts with label sensible advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sensible advice. Show all posts
“Oops, I fucked up. Please forgive me”
What an immature way to live your life! Don’t get me wrong, I’m far from perfect – but at least I don’t operate is if I have a built in error margin. There are certain things in life you can pretty much predict will not have good outcomes so it makes no sense to me to go on with them.
It’s even worse when the mistakes you make involve hurting other people. Sure, in your close relationships you should expect a fair amount of forgiveness, but at what point do your actions go from innocent to being callous. It’s not hard to gage what someone’s reaction is going to be, so not taking into consideration their feelings is not just dumb – it’s mean. Why spend your energy asking for forgiveness when you could just as easily avoid the things that will hurt them.
On a related note: I hate excuses. I hate excuses so much that even when I have a valid one it takes a lot for me to say it. I’d much rather NOT do something that requires one. People who constantly have to excuse their behavior are just not responsible.
The worst is that when you care about someone – you want nothing more than to accept their explanations, to go back to being ok. But each time you go through this cycle, it breaks you down a little, takes a little of the magic away from the relationship. For me at least, it’s not a viable way to be with someone.
It’s even worse when the mistakes you make involve hurting other people. Sure, in your close relationships you should expect a fair amount of forgiveness, but at what point do your actions go from innocent to being callous. It’s not hard to gage what someone’s reaction is going to be, so not taking into consideration their feelings is not just dumb – it’s mean. Why spend your energy asking for forgiveness when you could just as easily avoid the things that will hurt them.
On a related note: I hate excuses. I hate excuses so much that even when I have a valid one it takes a lot for me to say it. I’d much rather NOT do something that requires one. People who constantly have to excuse their behavior are just not responsible.
The worst is that when you care about someone – you want nothing more than to accept their explanations, to go back to being ok. But each time you go through this cycle, it breaks you down a little, takes a little of the magic away from the relationship. For me at least, it’s not a viable way to be with someone.
"You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen. Every day, God gives us the sun -and also one moment in which we have the ability to change everything that makes us unhappy. Every day, we try to pretend that we haven't perceived that moment, that it doesn't exist - that today is the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if people really pay attention to their everyday lives, they will discover that magic moment. It may arrive in the instant when we are doing something mundane, like putting our front-door key in the lock; it may lie hidden in the quiet that follows the lunch hour or in the thousand and one things that all seem the same to us. But that moment exists - a moment when all the power of the stars becomes a part of us and enables us to perfom miracles.
Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest. Our magic moment helps us to change and sends us off in search of our dreams. Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappoinments - but all of this is transitory; it leaves no permanent mark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken. Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps he won't suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when that person looks back - and at some point everyone looks back - he will hear his heart saying, "What have you done with the miracles that God planted in your days? What have you done with the talents God bestowed on you? You buried yourself in a cave because you were fearful of losing those talents... So, this is your heritage: the certainty that you wasted your life. Pitiful are the people who must realize this. Because when they are finally able to believe in miracles, their life's magic moments will have already passed them by."
~Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra, I sat Down & Wept
Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest. Our magic moment helps us to change and sends us off in search of our dreams. Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappoinments - but all of this is transitory; it leaves no permanent mark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken. Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps he won't suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when that person looks back - and at some point everyone looks back - he will hear his heart saying, "What have you done with the miracles that God planted in your days? What have you done with the talents God bestowed on you? You buried yourself in a cave because you were fearful of losing those talents... So, this is your heritage: the certainty that you wasted your life. Pitiful are the people who must realize this. Because when they are finally able to believe in miracles, their life's magic moments will have already passed them by."
~Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra, I sat Down & Wept
True Skill
The yogi Raman was a true master of the art of archery. One morning, he invited his favorite disciple to watch a display of his skill. The disciple had seen this more than a hundred times before, but he nevertheless obeyed his teacher.
They went into the wood beside the monastery and when they reached a magnificent oak tree, Raman took a flower which he had tucked in his collar and placed if on one of the branches.
He then opened his bag and took out three objects: his splendid bow made of precious wood, an arrow and a white handkerchief embroidered with lilacs.
The yogi positioned himself one hundred paces from the spot where he had placed the flower. Facing his target, he asked his disciple to blindfold him with the embroidered handkerchief.
The disciple did as his teacher requested.
'How often have you seem me practise the noble and anciet sport of archery?' Raman asked him.
'Everyday,' replied his disciple. 'And you have always managed to hit the rose from three hundred paces away.'
With his eyes covered by the handkerchief, the yogi Raman placed his feet firmly on the ground, drew back the bowstring with all his might - aiming at the rose placed on one of the branches of the oak tree - and then released the arrow.
The arrow whistled through the air, but it did not even hit the tree, missing the target by an embarrassingly wide margin.
'Did I hit it?' said Raman, removing the handkerchief from his eyes.
'No, you missed it completely,' replied the disciple. 'I thought you were going to demonstrate to me the poer of thought and your ability to perform magic.'
'I have just taught you the most important lesson about the power of thought,' replied Raman. 'When you want something, concentrate only on that: no one will ever hit a target they cannot see.'
They went into the wood beside the monastery and when they reached a magnificent oak tree, Raman took a flower which he had tucked in his collar and placed if on one of the branches.
He then opened his bag and took out three objects: his splendid bow made of precious wood, an arrow and a white handkerchief embroidered with lilacs.
The yogi positioned himself one hundred paces from the spot where he had placed the flower. Facing his target, he asked his disciple to blindfold him with the embroidered handkerchief.
The disciple did as his teacher requested.
'How often have you seem me practise the noble and anciet sport of archery?' Raman asked him.
'Everyday,' replied his disciple. 'And you have always managed to hit the rose from three hundred paces away.'
With his eyes covered by the handkerchief, the yogi Raman placed his feet firmly on the ground, drew back the bowstring with all his might - aiming at the rose placed on one of the branches of the oak tree - and then released the arrow.
The arrow whistled through the air, but it did not even hit the tree, missing the target by an embarrassingly wide margin.
'Did I hit it?' said Raman, removing the handkerchief from his eyes.
'No, you missed it completely,' replied the disciple. 'I thought you were going to demonstrate to me the poer of thought and your ability to perform magic.'
'I have just taught you the most important lesson about the power of thought,' replied Raman. 'When you want something, concentrate only on that: no one will ever hit a target they cannot see.'
How much have I missed under the pretext that I am shy? I have come a very long way over the years to where I am today, yet still I periodically find myself paralyzed by fear. Theoretically, privately, I know there is nothing to be afraid of - that I am stronger.
I think next time I am standing silent, waiting for the moment to be over, I will push myself to speak. Run the risk of ridicule if I must, but by all means - end this stupidity of silence.
“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” ~Paolo Coelho
Dalai Lama's Instructions for Life
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R's:
o Respect for self
o Respect for others
o Responsibility for all your actions
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R's:
o Respect for self
o Respect for others
o Responsibility for all your actions
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
In a Time not so Long Ago
This is a short excerpt from Richards Bachs book Illusions
The Master answered and said, “Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river.”
“The current of the river swept silently over them all – young and old, rich and poor, good and evil, the current going its own way, knowing only its own crystal self.”
“Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had learned from birth.”
“But one creature said at last, ‘I am tired of clinging. Though I cannot see it with my eyes, I trust that the current knows where it is going. I shall let go, and let it take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom.”
“The other creatures laughed and said, ‘Fool! Let go, and that current you worship will throw you tumble and smashed across the rocks, and you will die quicker than boredom.”
“But the one heeded them not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks.”
“Yet in time, as the creature refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom, and he was bruised and hurt no more.”
“And the creatures downstream, to whom he was a stranger cried, ‘See a miracle! A creature like ourselves, yet he flies! See the Messiah, come to save us all!
“And the one carried in the current said, ‘I am no more a Messiah than you. The river delights to lift us free, if only we dare let go. Our true work is this voyage, this adventure.’
“But they cried the more, ‘Savior!’ all the while clinging to the rocks, and when they looked again he was gone, and they were left alone making legends of a Savior.”
The Master answered and said, “Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river.”
“The current of the river swept silently over them all – young and old, rich and poor, good and evil, the current going its own way, knowing only its own crystal self.”
“Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had learned from birth.”
“But one creature said at last, ‘I am tired of clinging. Though I cannot see it with my eyes, I trust that the current knows where it is going. I shall let go, and let it take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom.”
“The other creatures laughed and said, ‘Fool! Let go, and that current you worship will throw you tumble and smashed across the rocks, and you will die quicker than boredom.”
“But the one heeded them not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks.”
“Yet in time, as the creature refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom, and he was bruised and hurt no more.”
“And the creatures downstream, to whom he was a stranger cried, ‘See a miracle! A creature like ourselves, yet he flies! See the Messiah, come to save us all!
“And the one carried in the current said, ‘I am no more a Messiah than you. The river delights to lift us free, if only we dare let go. Our true work is this voyage, this adventure.’
“But they cried the more, ‘Savior!’ all the while clinging to the rocks, and when they looked again he was gone, and they were left alone making legends of a Savior.”
Doing
"Life's not about expecting, hoping and wishing,
it's about doing, being and becoming.
It's about the choices you've just made,
and the ones you're about to make,
it's about the things you choose to say - today.
It's about what you're going to do after you finish reading this."
Mike Dooley, a.k.a. 'The Universe'
it's about doing, being and becoming.
It's about the choices you've just made,
and the ones you're about to make,
it's about the things you choose to say - today.
It's about what you're going to do after you finish reading this."
Mike Dooley, a.k.a. 'The Universe'
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